The Week 1560

The world’s smallest theatre – a 12-seat venue in a converted Victorian public toilet – is to reopen, thanks to a communityled effort. The Theatre of Small Convenience, in Malvern, was launched in 1997 by Dennis Neale, who used it to host puppet shows, and was recognised by Guinness World Records in 2002. But after he retired, the building fell into disrepair and it closed in 2017. Now, it has been fully refurbished, and is due to start hosting events later this month. The Woodland Trust’s Tree of the Year title usually goes to fine old specimens in rural locations; but this year, the public vote was won by a wildcard entry – a 75ft-tall ash that is the only tree on a busy street in Glasgow. According to legend,…

What happened Starmer fights back Keir Starmer took on Reform UK in a combative speech to the Labour conference this week, describing Nigel Farage as a “snake oil merchant” who “doesn’t like Britain”. Britain was at a “fork in the road”, he said, facing a choice between “renewal” or the “politics of grievance”. As delegates waved flags, he declared that Labour was the “patriotic party”. However, he acknowledged that, while Britain wasn’t “broken”, the road ahead would not be easy. Starmer conceded before the conference that left-wing parties had shied away from voters’ concerns about immigration. He announced a digital ID scheme (see page 6) to help with that issue, distinguishing Labour’s new, tougher approach from Reform’s deportation plans, which he branded “racist”. In her first conference speech as Home…

What happened Donald Trump hailed the prospect of “eternal peace in the Middle East”, as he unveiled a 20-point proposal to end the war in Gaza at a joint press conference with Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu. Under the plan, hostilities would cease immediately; Hamas would release its remaining hostages; and Israel would begin a phased withdrawal of its forces. Gaza would be governed by a panel of Palestinian technocrats, overseen by a Trump-chaired “Board of Peace” until the Strip was returned to full Palestinian control. An “International Stabilisation Force” led by the US and Arab states would keep order. Hamas would agree to give up arms and have no role in governance; in return, its members would be granted amnesty. Netanyahu said he had agreed to the plan, which was…

Controversy of the week Time for the BritCard? Having failed to police the UK’s borders, “Labour has decided to police its citizens instead”, said Tim Stanley in The Daily Telegraph. Keir Starmer last week announced plans for a mandatory digital ID scheme, claiming that it would be a vital tool for tackling illegal immigration. Informally dubbed the “BritCard”, to give it a “dose of whimsy centrist patriotism”, the ID would sit in a Gov.UK “wallet” on your smartphone, and would initially be required as proof of your right to work in the UK, before being rolled out to access other services. The PM insisted that digital ID would help “suppress the black economy that is such a lure to migrants”, said the Daily Mail. That seems “fanciful”: “France has ID…

A modern gentleman would never vape indoors without permission, or listen to music in public without headphones; and he would always hold open the door regardless of the gender of the person behind him, GQ’s panel of etiquette experts has decreed. They also note that a gentleman will offer his seat on public transport; carry his “earthly possessions” in a bag, not stuffed into his pockets; avoid dating any woman who is less than half his age plus ten; and ask questions, rather than always talking about himself. The shift towards no- and low-alcohol drinks hit a new milestone this week, when Ocado reported that its sales of Guinness 0.0 (launched five years ago) had for the first time exceeded those of the traditional variety.…

Long shots, after a golfer defied odds often estimated at 67 million to one by scoring two holes in one in a single round. Heating engineer Gavin Bourne was playing a 36-hole final for his club championship match at Droitwich Golf Club when he hit the perfect shots, at the third hole and the 15th. Senior civil servants, with new figures showing that the number earning six-figure salaries has almost doubled in three years. A total of 3,515 civil servants are now paid more than £100,000, out of a workforce of more than half a million.…