Fairlady

Podcaster and journalist Katie Gatti Tassin’s subject is personal finance, always from an interesting angle. She recently wrote about an unforeseen consequence of setting extreme personal boundaries. ‘We’ve been inundated with therapy-speak that provides a script to let ourselves off the hook when we’re not in the mood to show up for people in our lives,’ she wrote. ‘The most dramatic example is that cursed copy-paste paragraph that recommended telling friends you didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to care about them so could they take their personal crisis elsewhere or schedule a different time to need you? This emotional boundary-setting is often encouraged under the guise of “selfprotection”: Always putting yourself first is what’s best for you. ‘But what if it isn’t? What if this is shortsighted selfishness, and ultimately…

Mervyn Gers Blush ceramic cake stand I am not a cake stand kind of gal, but I do love this one fiercely: It’s all about the minimalist design (they’re usually fussy things, cake stands), and the gorgeous serenity of this particular shade of pink. I did put a cake on it once, but mostly it’s carrying a bunch of flowers or candles in the middle of the dinner table. It offers a simple elevation that’s deeply pleasing to me. Toy Fights: A Boyhood by Don Paterson Scottish poet, writer and musician Don Paterson is widely recognised as one of the great writers of his generation, and I’m embarrassed to say that I’d never read him before Toy Fights – hands-down one of the best autobiographies I’ve ever read. Paterson wrote it…

Write to flmag@fairlady.com – and remember to put the word ‘Letters’ in the subject line. Winning letter A real difference I wrote a feature for FAIRLADY in 2002: ‘24 hours with the Child Protection Unit’, which followed dedicated police officers as they helped abused children and hunted the perpetrators of violence. It was clear how overwhelmed the police felt. The article moved Kerrin Marcon to start an organisation called Friends of Child Protection (FCP). FCP has been supporting the police by supplying them with comfort packs to hand to abused children – with items such as a soft toy, snacks, a facecloth, tissues, underwear, soap, deodorant, a toothbrush and toothpaste, crayons and a colouring booklet. They provide a bit of solace in the trauma of the first hours after a…

1 Daily ritual I found these beautiful hand painted cups while browsing The Local Edit and I just had to share. Like ceramic brand Tday’s founder, artist and potter Lika Horn, I think the cup you drink your coffee from matters. ‘How we spend our days is how we spend our lives, and homeware made intentionally reminds us to appreciate the simple things,’ she writes. When the pandemic hit and Lika found herself with time to kill, she started playing around with making ceramic mugs and moulds in her garage. Curious to see if she could generate sales, she launched an online store. And the rest is history! Today, Tday’s collection includes ceramic vases, butter bells, bowls, milk-and-sugar sets, candleholders, serving dishes, ramekins, flower frogs, trinket trays and planters –…

You know the feeling… There’s nothing wrong, exactly, but there’s nothing particularly right either. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. It’s as if life has become rusty, like a bicycle left outdoors and exposed to the elements – stuck in certain ways, tricky to get moving. You find yourself watching the same TV shows, having the same conversations with friends, eating the same kind of food… Everything just feels kind of meh. So you go away on a holiday! And then you come home. And it feels exactly the same. Forced gratitude Happiness experts will tell you to focus on gratitude – being thankful for what you have. But what often happens at times like these is that someone will offer a toxic positivity dump. ‘What are you…

So where do you begin? Here are a few tips to get you started: ➊ Lower your bar for delight. It’s easy to believe that for something to be worthy of delight, it has to be pretty special. Let me disabuse you of that notion: It does not. Fresh socks are a delight. The way the air smells first thing in the morning is a delight. Taking off your bra or shoes at the end of the day is a delight. The bar is really, really low. ➋ Look for the consistent moments. Humans are creatures of habit, so odds are there are certain things you do every day that give you a tiny jolt of joy already – all you have to do is shine a spotlight on them.…